My name is Heather MacLean Bakstad. At the end of April 2008, I noticed my right breast was a little bit bigger. This was a great thing, being a size A. I went and bought myself a few new bras, and in the room I felt my breasts, and found a lump. I let it go for a few weeks, and one night as I mentioned it to my husband and had him feel it. It was another few weeks that I waited, not believing in the slightest that I really had anything to worry about. Everyone kept telling me not to worry, "Its just a cyst." I was joking around with everyone about it, and the worst-case scenarios, throwing my life around as I didn't realize what NOT A JOKE this was soon to be. Luckily I did, and luckily my MD wrote a prescription for an Ultrasound.

If she had not done that, I think I would have died of breast cancer, given the aggressiveness of triple negative disease. I had to fight once I was at the breast center for the ultrasound even! My mammogram didn't show a thing, being only 33 with dense breast tissue. This was the beginning of me learning to stand up for myself, and to be my own advocate, and most importantly not relying on my doctors to "know" everything about my body. I must remind myself that they are only practicing medicine, and this is also why I can forgive my ND for not finding my lump six months prior. I remember her hesitating over my lump (she's a BC survivor too) for a moment during my yearly exam, but she second-guessed herself.

I was a Stage 1, no nodes, not genetic. There was no reason that I should have gotten "it". I have eaten organic food my entire adult life, exercised regularly, practiced yoga, you name it. I was the picture of health, for myself and for all my shocked friends. I started my treatments of AC (4) and Taxotere (12). I had a really, really rough time with chemo and in fact got too sick to finish my last session. I hope that my radiation treatments are easier. I kept a blog through my entire experience, you can read it at: www.heathersjourneytohealth.blogspot.com

I am done with chemo now, and am enjoying feeling my body come back to life. I have come to a sincere place of gratefulness for breast cancer and the many lessons it has taught me. I am a new person now, a totally changed person. A person that I still am getting to know, in my new found place of integration. I hope to turn my blog into a book to help newly diagnosed women. I want my book to be one that is given to them when they leave the hospital. I am here for each and everyone of you. If you ever want to get in touch with me, you can find my email on my blog.

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